Hurting, everybody hurts! Words of comfort for the hurting through poem and quotes; plus emotional support to those who are grieving or hurting.
Hurting? Words of comfort for the hurting
by Wilma Watson
The pain of loss can be crushing with the death of a loved one. Grief can be as intense when you go through separation and divorce. Bringing comfort to the hurting…
The Bible says Jesus came to comfort those whose hearts are broken (Isaiah 61:1). I asked Jesus to help me write a poem that would help those who are hurting receive comfort. You have my permission to pass it on.
Poem bringing comfort to the hurting
God of all mercy! God of all grace
Comfort me now your love to embrace
You sent Jesus to take my pain
When He suffered and died for my gain
Help me to trust you to meet my need
For you have promised my prayer to heed
I know you’re always by my side
To strengthen me when I can’t abide
Place your strong arms around me now
And comfort me the way you know how
“God is the Father who is full of mercy and all comfort. He comforts us every time we have trouble, so when others have trouble, we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
What to do when hurting
While at the hairdressers this week I read in a magazine comments from a famous film star. Between the lines one could tell that this woman was still hurting from a divorce four years ago. So many today are left hurting through divorce!
It made me think of my friend Tracie (not her real name) who divorced recently. Tracie said it would have been easier if her husband of 35 years had died; at least there would have been a definite closure. Instead he went off with another woman and married again. I felt so much for her!
How do you comfort someone who is experiencing such emotional pain? Tracie didn’t need my advice. What she needed was simply – me – and my ability to listen and to be with her. That meant lots of hugs and time to listen with empathy. Through mine and others’ prayers, practical and emotional support Tracie was able to pass through the grieving process.
Yes, there is a natural grieving process of disbelief, depression, anger, guilt (false or true), release of sorrow (weeping), and finally accepting the situation and going on to rebuild one’s life.
Emotional, physical and spiritual repercussions can occur if the person grieving fails to fully pass through this grieving process by not accepting the situation and releasing the one who has caused the grief. Let’s look at the possible results, and hopefully you will be able to understand those suffering better.
Failing to pass through the grief process can produce:
- ongoing denial
- anxiety and fear
- anger which can turn inward and become depression
- self pity
- lack of communication
You can swing from pain to pleasure to hide the pain – this can lead to lust, eating disorders or substance abuse control – having been hurt, the tendency is to trust only oneself, which drives one to try to control people and situations in order to prevent further hurt.
Since the Hebrew word for ‘grief’ means to be diseased, sick, weak, sorrowful or wounded, we can assume that many illnesses may have their origin in grief.
Stress, from unresolved grief, can effect our bones and bloodstream.
King David in the Bible explains, “My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak.” Psalm 31:10
Should the bones grow weak, blood conditions can eventuate, for the red marrow within the bone produces the red and white blood cells.
Stress, from unresolved grief, can bring an imbalance of the adrenal hormones.
In their book ‘Healing the Wounded Spirit’, John and Paula Sandford (1985:437) cite Dr. Simonton (Getting Well Again), medical Director of the Cancer Counselling and Research Center in Texas as saying that:
“Psychological stress on the physical body, results in an imbalance of adrenal hormones which in turn creates greater susceptibility to carcinogenic substances, and finally results in suppression of immune activity, increase of abnormal cells, and cancerous growth.”
When we hold unforgiveness and fail to release the one who has caused the hurt, our spirit is affected. The Bible says, “If you forgive others for their sin, your Father in heaven will also forgive you for your sins.” (Matthew 6:14) What this Bible verse is saying is that if we choose not to forgive others, God will not forgive us, which will affect our relationship with him.
Jesus encourages us to “forgive and you will be forgiven.” The literal translation is “Release and you will be released.” Luke 6:37
In working through the grief process, there has to be a point at which there is a decision to release the person or situation and to look ahead. Otherwise, the law of association means that you are negatively bound to the hurtful experience again and again.
When the person who is suffering releases through forgiveness the person who hurt them, they will be released from emotional, physical and spiritual repercussions.
Watch this short video, it will help you forgive those who have hurt you.
How to let go an offence
How to heal a broken heart